Life In The Slow Lane...
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San Diego, CA, United States
This is a commentary about the slow lane, about the slowing of time since I suffered a severe brain injury while skateboarding with my dog. This is a blog about recovery; about our '82 VW Westfalia. It's about writing, surfing, camping, married life, bleeding ulcers that make you feel old at 32; about family, friends, and my dog Artie; it's about cruising in fourth gear, getting passed by every car and learning to appreciate every second of it.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Run, run, run...

Th pressure in my head has remained. This headache has lasted for seven long days. It started when the rain started to fall. My dad said the atmospheric pressure has reached an 80 year high when the storms blew through southern California. My doctor seems to think the throb inside my head is caused by the high pressure. Brain injury websites say the same thing.

The worst part about the pain is it is located jut above my right eye; the same place that I hit when I fell. It feels like an expanding knot in my head. Aimee and the rest of my family tell me I need to get rest. They prescribe naps like a doctor prescribes Vicodin. I try and tell them that naps don't help. Rest doesn't either. All rest does is give me a chance to feel the knot expand inside my head. They don't understand that the more I force myself to do, the better, the quicker time goes by, and the easier it is to forget about the nagging throb.

I don't mean to complain, but these things get old. Seven days is a long time to live with the same headache. Seven days is a long time to hear the advice from those who care but who don't know.

During the past few days I am beginning ot notice a few more symptoms. At times I act crazy. I say the wrong things. I pissed Aimee off by telling personal stories. I don't mena to do this. I don't mean to use the injury as an excuse, but I have nothing else to use. Aimee tells me that the symptoms are not supposed to get worse as my recovery continues. I remind her that doctors said recovery can take years, possibly six years. I remind her that it has only been four months. I feel bad reminding her. I fear that she will grow sick of hearing the excuse. I fear that she will stop believing that it is something I can control. It scares me to think that she will just have to start accepting the fact that she lives with someone that acts crazy and behaves poorly. I hate to think that one day she might want to find a way out. I wouldn't blame her if she does. I'd like to get as far away from myself as possible.


  1. Time cures everything...

  2. I don't know your physical pain, so I won't presume to tell you everything will be okay. I know your story from Aimee's eyes. My husband is on a long road to recovery too. After two surgeries, one on his neck, and the last on his back (not to include his hands, knee, and shoulder) I know how hard it is for him to depend on me daily. I know he is in pain and there is nothing I can do about it. I can't subside his anger on particularly bad days nor can I do anything to help his pain deminish. I can only be there - as a wife and a friend. I want to reassure you, no matter how bad of a day you are having, no matter how grouchy and cynical you may get, she will be there... because she loves you. I don't want to seem presumptious now, but I can see it. You'll be okay. You both will.