I'm back, ready to review more movies. I also decided to throw in a television reviews as well, just because I am generous and I care. Now that I am back off the wagon, I fear I won't be watching as many movies and bad reality TV as before. Most of my nights will probably be spent in the bar, chatting it up with some stranger about sports, literature, it's been so long I don't know what they talk about at bars, but I'm going to find out.
First up; I'll start with some movies.
The other night I watched the newest X Men release; Wolverine. Lame. There's something about Liev Schrieber that has always bothered me. I found out he irks me even more when he's trying to be some roided up rodent. Now that I am not swallowed up by a debilitating daze each and every night, movies, especially action flicks, don't have the same affect on me. There was a time when my brain was so slow that I was sweating to GI Joe and the newest Transformers movie. It's not the case anymore. Wolverine was the first time in two months I wasn't marveled by the special effects. For that, but mostly because I can't stand Liev Schrieber, I give this flick one neuron out of a possible four.
Next up: Taking Woodstock. This was so bad that I felt the bulge on the side of my head grow with each ridiculous scene, and with each word the protagonist's mother uttered. This film gets no neurons.
Last in line: Four Christmases. I held my pick for the night, It Might Get Loud- a music documentary featuring Jimmy Page, Jack White, and The Edge, and Aimee's pick- a holiday knee-slapper, Four Christmases, behind my back. She picked the left arm, the one holding the holiday flick where hilarity was supposed to ensue but never did. Sure I laughed a few times at Vince Vaughn's delivery- each time I laughed Aimee reminded me it was her pick- overall, I thought it was pretty slow, weak, just another romantic comedy with all the same jokes set to Christmas music. Sadly enough, this film also received one neuron, even with Vince Vaughn's delivery.
Now onto television. It's hard to believe that on the night my doctor told me I could have a beer, I was inside on the same chair I've been on for two months straight, watching a lame holiday comedy and then following it up with the latest episode of the Bad Girls Club. It's equally hard to believe that Aimee was allowed to choose not only the movie but also which program to watch.
For those of you who don't know, Bad Girls Club is a reality show where seven slutty, drunk, vulgar, and sloppy females occupy the same house. Great premise, you say. Well, it's not. Since the fall there have been times when I was convinced I lost some intelligence, never more so than after watching this show. These girls fight and scream the entire time. Out of a possible four neurons, I give this a one and a half.
Stay tuned for more Reviews From A Lame Brain. Next installment I will review It Might Get Loud, Up In The Air, and for TV, Steven Seagal's Lawman.
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6 years ago