Life In The Slow Lane...
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San Diego, CA, United States
This is a commentary about the slow lane, about the slowing of time since I suffered a severe brain injury while skateboarding with my dog. This is a blog about recovery; about our '82 VW Westfalia. It's about writing, surfing, camping, married life, bleeding ulcers that make you feel old at 32; about family, friends, and my dog Artie; it's about cruising in fourth gear, getting passed by every car and learning to appreciate every second of it.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Two Sense Short: Cat Crap Fever


Aimee's Siamese cat, Milosh, and I have had a long, tumultuous past. We became enemies shortly after I moved into Aimee's apartment in Gainesville, Florida ten years ago. Shortly after moving in, I remember waking up in the middle of the night after Milosh jumped on my midsection from the nearby dresser. A few nights later she did the same maneuver, only this time landing on my throat.

Despite the dive-bombs, I still tried to get in good with Milosh. That ended one night while Aimee was at work and I was in the small apartment, bored. I got the brush out and tried to groom her, thinking she would enjoy the pampering, like most cats do. I stroked her coat gently. On my second stroke she hissed and swiped at my face. I reacted and yelled, swiping at her face. We sat eye to eye and declared war.

"You're move Milosh," I said to her.

Milosh, now more than 13 years old, is still making moves doing her best to defeat me.

Today, Milosh implemented a new strategy, this time focusing on my weaknesses; namely my lack of smell.

I came home to a cat turd lying on the kitchen floor. There were stains across the linoleum. I did my best to clean Milosh's mess, but without a sense of smell I don't know where that mess is. I left the house and am now waiting for Aimee to sniff around when she gets home. She has officially figured out a way to chase me from my home. I've had enemies before, but never one as clever and as strategical as this Siamese cat.

8 comments:

  1. I especially like the surly look on Milosh's face. I imagine a thick Russian accent saying, "I've got a movement for you."

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  2. Nice Blog hope all keeps going well for you...

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  3. can i just say that i looove the name of this blog? totally agree with your kind of lifestyle. i just need to get out of suburbia!

    http://jaxonstyle.blogspot.com/

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  4. How do Artie and Milosh get along?

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  5. Hey,

    You haven't updated in awhile....you doing ok??

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  6. Not too good, CeCe. Artie is pretty scared of her and Milosh loves every second of it. Artie has learned to stay far away from her.

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  7. Hi Kate OB, I'm all right, thanks for asking. I find myself withdrawing from society a little more these days. I'm not sure why. I think it's just a passing phase, at least I hope it is!

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  8. Okay, now THIS is an awesome blog. I've been trolling the blogosphere this evening, and this is the best thing I've read in hours. It's smart and witty, there's a cat in it, and your story is extremely compelling. You've got a new fan.

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