Life In The Slow Lane...
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San Diego, CA, United States
This is a commentary about the slow lane, about the slowing of time since I suffered a severe brain injury while skateboarding with my dog. This is a blog about recovery; about our '82 VW Westfalia. It's about writing, surfing, camping, married life, bleeding ulcers that make you feel old at 32; about family, friends, and my dog Artie; it's about cruising in fourth gear, getting passed by every car and learning to appreciate every second of it.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Two Sense Short: Cat Crap Fever

Aimee's Siamese cat, Milosh, and I have had a long, tumultuous past. We became enemies shortly after I moved into Aimee's apartment in Gainesville, Florida ten years ago. Shortly after moving in, I remember waking up in the middle of the night after Milosh jumped on my midsection from the nearby dresser. A few nights later she did the same maneuver, only this time landing on my throat.

Despite the dive-bombs, I still tried to get in good with Milosh. That ended one night while Aimee was at work and I was in the small apartment, bored. I got the brush out and tried to groom her, thinking she would enjoy the pampering, like most cats do. I stroked her coat gently. On my second stroke she hissed and swiped at my face. I reacted and yelled, swiping at her face. We sat eye to eye and declared war.

"You're move Milosh," I said to her.

Milosh, now more than 13 years old, is still making moves doing her best to defeat me.

Today, Milosh implemented a new strategy, this time focusing on my weaknesses; namely my lack of smell.

I came home to a cat turd lying on the kitchen floor. There were stains across the linoleum. I did my best to clean Milosh's mess, but without a sense of smell I don't know where that mess is. I left the house and am now waiting for Aimee to sniff around when she gets home. She has officially figured out a way to chase me from my home. I've had enemies before, but never one as clever and as strategical as this Siamese cat.


  1. I especially like the surly look on Milosh's face. I imagine a thick Russian accent saying, "I've got a movement for you."

  2. Nice Blog hope all keeps going well for you...

  3. can i just say that i looove the name of this blog? totally agree with your kind of lifestyle. i just need to get out of suburbia!

  4. How do Artie and Milosh get along?

  5. Hey,

    You haven't updated in doing ok??

  6. Not too good, CeCe. Artie is pretty scared of her and Milosh loves every second of it. Artie has learned to stay far away from her.

  7. Hi Kate OB, I'm all right, thanks for asking. I find myself withdrawing from society a little more these days. I'm not sure why. I think it's just a passing phase, at least I hope it is!

  8. Okay, now THIS is an awesome blog. I've been trolling the blogosphere this evening, and this is the best thing I've read in hours. It's smart and witty, there's a cat in it, and your story is extremely compelling. You've got a new fan.