Life In The Slow Lane...
My photo
San Diego, CA, United States
This is a commentary about the slow lane, about the slowing of time since I suffered a severe brain injury while skateboarding with my dog. This is a blog about recovery; about our '82 VW Westfalia. It's about writing, surfing, camping, married life, bleeding ulcers that make you feel old at 32; about family, friends, and my dog Artie; it's about cruising in fourth gear, getting passed by every car and learning to appreciate every second of it.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Argument...

There's been some talk recently about me going to a neuropsychologist to address the rage, depression, and frustration over not having any focus but I remain reluctant, for a couple of different reasons.

To start with, there are no clear cut answers to this injury. There doesn't exist a time line I can go by. No one knows when, or if, my smell, taste, focus, will come back and nobody can tell when, or if, this surliness will disappear. It's just this vast gray area and these estimates of two to six years until recovery is realized.

I have done this all before and I don't see any need to relive the past. I saw a neuro-shrink when I was in rehab. She was great. She told me about the condition. She told me it would get worse. She told me there was nothing I can do but try to be the person I want to be. She said this injury would change me. It has.

I can see if I couldn't get out of bed, or if the dark thoughts stayed through the day, but I do rise out of bed in the morning and that despair is often overcome by laughter and delight. It would be great if I never felt depressed ever again and it would be great having control of my thoughts, but this is my life now, and I will do my best to regain that control. I don't get how hearing someone else repeating this serves any purpose, other than to line their pockets. It will just be someone else that doesn't understand, unless they smack their head hard enough, then they'll see that they are the only one that truly knows.


  1. Hi Dorian! I've been following your blog a bit since I started seeing Roland a couple months ago. He told me about you and Aimee- your writing, Aimee's photography, your camper...sounds like you've been living a unique and exciting life. Speaking of stating the obvious- I'm sorry to hear about your injury. It sounds like you are making the best of things. Maybe we can all catch up sometime. Take care and hello to Aimee. - Julie Moore

  2. Julie! Thanks for writing. Speaking of unique and exciting lives, you're really flying by the seat of your pants (sorry I couldn't help myself). when we heard you and Roland were hanging out, Aimee and I did a little research on the world wide web and seeing you in a fighter plane was quite a shocker. Aimee and I will actually be in Vegas for a photo shoot in the next few weeks, it would be great to see you. Send your email address to Bye-4-now!