This is a commentary about the slow lane, about the slowing of time since I suffered a severe brain injury while skateboarding with my dog. This is a blog about recovery; about our '82 VW Westfalia. It's about writing, surfing, camping, married life, bleeding ulcers that make you feel old at 32; about family, friends, and my dog Artie; it's about cruising in fourth gear, getting passed by every car and learning to appreciate every second of it.
Hello friends. It's been a long time since visiting this website; a much needed break from what seemed like posting my every complaint.
That said, I'm ready to be get back to spilling my guts again very soon. I will start with a quick update:
A lot has happened over the past months. We have traveled, been working, I spoke to a family member who I'd had a falling out with shortly after my accident, and been trying to move forward and live a proper life.
Things are better, however, they started improving shortly after I started taking my second anti-depressant. As sad as it is to say, I believe I have found my cocktail of choice. I say it is sad because I've never taken prescription meds before, probably wouldn't have hurt, but never thought it was a priority.
I started back on the Lexapro, in addition to Wellbutrin, a few months back. Things weren't going so well for me before doing so. I found myself withdrawing even more than before. I wouldn't return calls. Everything was a chore, a chore that I didn't want to take on. I grew sick of daily fights with fatigue. Those things, plus my temper began to grow as well. Good news about that was most times I would be able to focus my rage on myself and not by yelling at others, or punching walls or other inanimate objects.
The most disturbing thing, looking back, was the depression wasn't a good depression. I wasn't sitting around listening to sad music and writing like I had done before. This depression was void of emotion, void of thought. It was too powerful to get through, and too strong to push passed.
Since being on the two happy pills, these issues have pretty much disappeared, thus the contact with some of my family and thus the decision to click on this blog again.
I'm just now starting to feel normal again, though still hope the day comes when I no longer fear being off medication. One thing I do know if that time is not know. For now, those pills are the only things that are keeping my head above water.
I hope this blog will help just like it always has in the past!