Life In The Slow Lane...
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San Diego, CA, United States
This is a commentary about the slow lane, about the slowing of time since I suffered a severe brain injury while skateboarding with my dog. This is a blog about recovery; about our '82 VW Westfalia. It's about writing, surfing, camping, married life, bleeding ulcers that make you feel old at 32; about family, friends, and my dog Artie; it's about cruising in fourth gear, getting passed by every car and learning to appreciate every second of it.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Descended

I have been wanting to see the movie The Descendants since I read the premise. I like George Clooney and all, and liked the movie Sideways but my desire to see the movie was deeper than just some glowing reviews. I didn't admit it at the time but deep down I wanted to see it for a whole different reason; to see what it was like for Aimee and my family while I was unconscious. I wanted to fill in gaps but now know that the gaps will take some time and effort to fill.

There was one problem that I hadn't anticipated and that was Aimee. I had told her about the movie briefly a few weeks back. She didn't say much at the time and I didn't think much of it after the fact, at least not until the opening scene when Clooney's character promises his wife, who lays motionless in a coma with tubes inserted into her throat, that he will change if and when she comes to.

I failed to realize how hard it would be for me to imagine myself with that same absent look on my face, with the same colored tubes in my throat. I found it hard to see my family staring at me while machines pumped air into my lungs, and fed nutrients in my veins.

Afterwards, on our way home, I told Aimee how I thought seeing the movie could help. I tried to laugh and asked her to do the same; to show progress. It was asking a lot, too much. Shortly after I realized how little all of us, whether that is my estranged family members, my wife and best friend, have dealt with it all. I now realize that coming to terms with everything is much more than measuring recovery in months and years.

6 comments:

  1. Well, sir, I think you just made a giant leap in progress.....thinking about others instead of yourself.
    The folks around you are still going through this with you....don't feel like it is just you healing. Good job, guy. B.

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  4. You're amazing, and so is your blog. That's really all I have to say

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  5. I'm a 15 year old teenage girl. Bethan, Hi :) I got diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes 6 years ago and I was very close to death in the process. Since then I've nearly died again twice. Life can be so cruel and I think I'm quite lucky compared to you. This is my first read on your blog but I will continue to read. Good Luck on your journey to recovery and realisation x

    Anyone reading this, please do read my blog if you wish to :)

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