Life In The Slow Lane...
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San Diego, CA, United States
This is a commentary about the slow lane, about the slowing of time since I suffered a severe brain injury while skateboarding with my dog. This is a blog about recovery; about our '82 VW Westfalia. It's about writing, surfing, camping, married life, bleeding ulcers that make you feel old at 32; about family, friends, and my dog Artie; it's about cruising in fourth gear, getting passed by every car and learning to appreciate every second of it.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Ween

Last week I decided to stop taking my daily dose of Wellbutrin. I don't have a good understanding of what the pill does for me. Depression still hits but doesn't hit as hard. The emotional highs aren't as high as they were before the injury. The fatigue hasn't eased.

All of this made me curious if this was the new me. I wondered if the pills are actually helping. So, I decided to quit cold turkey.

For the first two days I felt great. I had energy. I didn't have that feeling like something was holding me back. Then the work week started. I sat down in front of the computer facing a tight deadline. I stared at the screen unable to put a single sentence together. I couldn't focus long enough to read a paragraph, or listen to interviews that I had recorded. I became frustrated. I yelled inside my room. I punched the walls and had fleeting visions of smacking myself.

I told Aimee that I thought I was losing it. She went online and looked up the withdrawals from Wellbutrin. At the top of the list was "lack of concentration, frustration," and emotional outbursts.

That night I went back on the pill. It worries me that I will have to depend on this pill for a long time. I want to see the person that I have to face for the rest of my life. I'd like to know what this injury has done to me.
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2 comments:

  1. anntonMarch 13, 2011 at 12:05 PM

    Maybe you should give quitting another try, when not facing some work deadline or simply when you have a couple of weeks of. I am no expert at all, but trying again and again helped me most. Thank you for your inspiring Blog, something I have want to say foo a while already.

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  2. Just meMarch 13, 2011 at 8:36 PM

    Not sure if I told you, but I am a physician. (OB/Gyn ). I have found that welbutrin works best for pts that are very apathetic and basically stare and respond to questions with, ' I don't care',' I don't know', and pts that feel like they are worthless or that there is no hope do better with an SSRI (like zoloft or lexapro). A lot of pts start to feel better and think, 'do I still need this med?'. And this is when you ween....keep track of your emotions and see if your doctor might consider trying a different medication that might work better for the extremes.

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