Life In The Slow Lane...
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San Diego, CA, United States
This is a commentary about the slow lane, about the slowing of time since I suffered a severe brain injury while skateboarding with my dog. This is a blog about recovery; about our '82 VW Westfalia. It's about writing, surfing, camping, married life, bleeding ulcers that make you feel old at 32; about family, friends, and my dog Artie; it's about cruising in fourth gear, getting passed by every car and learning to appreciate every second of it.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Scripps Mercy, Mercy, Me

Yesterday, I went back to Scripps Mercy Hospital to get my health records. Before walking in, I passed the valet area where people sat in wheelchairs waiting for their rides. I thought about the first time I arrived at Scripps by ambulance and not having a single memory of it. I don't remember medics rolling me in. I don't remember talking to nurses and doctors. Everything has been wiped clean.

Ten minutes later, with records in hand, I sat down in the lobby and read the initial reports of my injury. Doctors described me as combative but alert. They questioned whether anything happened. There were no signs of injury. I was only complaining about a minor headache. An hour later, doctors said my condition was deteriorating. And that's when they put me out.

I couldn't make it through the entire report. I wasn't emotional. I was curious. I imagined seeing Aimee and my family walk through the doors on their way to visit me. I imagined my father, near a nervous breakdown, standing at the piano singing Frank Sinatra. I thought about my mom praying in the chapel, despite the fact that she is not religious. I imagined the rest of my family witnessing it all. And, I pictured Aimee on her way to the ICU with bloodshot eyes, holding her journal and a cup of coffee.

It hurts because most of my family no longer speaks to me; my dad, my mom, or my brother.

My neurologist and my doctor both say I need to step away and concentrate on recovery, but it's hard when the brain's filter allows emotions to run wild.


  1. I hate this. I am hopeful they will come around soon, Doe. In the meantime know you have all of your friends around you and just focus on you.

  2. I love you Dorian!

  3. Now I''m pissed - let me guess what happened - because of your injury you may have "displayed" some extreme emotion that may have offended them, am I right? So rather than understanding the incredible mountain you have to climb every friggin' day they have decided to take it all personally. (so much easier to be pissed off and alienated rather than suck it up and stand by your son or your brother). So... basically they are cowards. And I'm sorry as hell. I'm equally glad you have a courageous new family in your friends and wife helping you with your mountain.

  4. Thanks for the support HB and AliB. And Theatre VCU, I think you got the gist of it. I've tried my best to refrain from writing about it but it's with me all day, every day. I feel bad for the things I said during the heat of the moment(s) but it's difficult to apologize for something that I had no control of. Thanks for the message. I really appreciate it.

  5. I'm too far away to shake anyone by the shoulders and tell them to "knock off the cheap shit" (a favorite expression of my late husband, by the way) - maybe they will read your blog and receive a small wake up call... but like you I'm thinkin' - probably not...

    their loss.