Life In The Slow Lane...
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San Diego, CA, United States
This is a commentary about the slow lane, about the slowing of time since I suffered a severe brain injury while skateboarding with my dog. This is a blog about recovery; about our '82 VW Westfalia. It's about writing, surfing, camping, married life, bleeding ulcers that make you feel old at 32; about family, friends, and my dog Artie; it's about cruising in fourth gear, getting passed by every car and learning to appreciate every second of it.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Filling The Wormhole

Two days and counting until my face, skull missing and all, will be plastered on the front cover of the weekly newspaper I write for. I'm nervous. Not just about the picture, which is pretty disturbing, but I'm nervous about what the response will be, if there's any at all. It was a difficult task; writing about something that I fail to understand and am still unable to grasp. Those weeks and months after the coma were filled with numbness and pain. At times I had no thoughts just watery eyes, a dented in head, and an open mouth.

How do you explain the unexplainable?

The upcoming cover story has caused us to talk about the injury much more often than in recent weeks. Aimee has cried. I asked her ridiculous questions. I asked her why she didn't fall out of love with me. I asked her if seeing me in that weakened state made her think I was weak. She said no. She asked me if I would feel that way if it was her. I said no. Truth is, I don't know how I would handle it. I wasn't awake to see her face, her tears or her smiles. I wasn't awake to hear the sounds, to smell the odors, or see the look on the doctors faces as they tried to explain the situation. The entire experience has left a black hole where memories should be and I will never have anything to inject in that wormhole except for a cover story, Aimee's journal, and the stories I have heard. We'll see if I can stuff anything else in by the time the week is through.


  1. Which magazine will it be in?

  2. Hey Dorian, I've been reading your blog after finding it on Jamie's blog a few months ago, and just finished reading your article. First of all, welcome back, man. My husband is a combat Marine officer and several of his buddies haven't been as lucky in their recovery after similar injuries. Second of all, thank you for sharing your story. You write honestly, forcefully, and beautifully without ever vying for pity, which is no small feat considering your subject. Lastly, I just want you to know that even if they don't say it in person or comment on your blog or article, there isn't a single person who has come across your story who hasn't been struck by how strong and courageous your wife is. She must be a hell of a woman.

    Keep up the progress. We're all rooting for you.

  3. Thanks for the comments. Jojo, here's a link to the article...

    And Big Bang Studio, thanks for the kind words. She really is amazing. I knew it when I met her and she was just thirteen years old. She's my best friends and like you said, "one hell of a woman." Thanks again.


  4. i'm all over the place on the web and somehow i ran across your blog. it stopped me dead in my tracks. your story....WOW.

    my dad had a pretty massive stroke about 6 years ago which did a number to his brain. i seriously thought and was told so many things would be gone. 6 years later it's AMAZING how the brain heals itself.

    your words are raw and real and your wife....well that's LOVE.

    stay strong man. we're all rooting for you.

  5. Uni,

    Thanks for the comment. It's good to hear you dad is doing well. I met several stroke patients while I was in rehab. It was always tough to see their struggle. Thanks again, I dig the blog.