Life In The Slow Lane...
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San Diego, CA, United States
This is a commentary about the slow lane, about the slowing of time since I suffered a severe brain injury while skateboarding with my dog. This is a blog about recovery; about our '82 VW Westfalia. It's about writing, surfing, camping, married life, bleeding ulcers that make you feel old at 32; about family, friends, and my dog Artie; it's about cruising in fourth gear, getting passed by every car and learning to appreciate every second of it.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Reviews From The Lame Brain

I watch more movies now than ever. I don't have many options, no drinks, no energy, no nightlife. As a way to avoid horrible television programs, which Aimee seems to be addicted to, I watch movies, that is, unless Jersey Shore is on of course. I've always been a critic, and now, after the brain injury, critiques seem to be rolling off my tongue. Over the past few days, we've seen three movies. Out of the three only one received a positive review. What's strange about my reviews, after the brain injury is now the smallest thing will result in a negative critique.

For example, the other night we watched Julie And Julia, a film about Julia Child and some woman who starts a blog about Julia's recipes. This was almost unwatchable, not because it's a movie about cooking and I now longer have the sense of taste. Actually, I like cooking, I'm no good at it and have no patience for it, but overall the idea interests me. No, Julia And Julia received a cognitive thumbs down for one reason and one reason only, the husband of the main character chewed and talked with his mouth open for the entire movie. He smacked and breathed heavily through his nose while he did. Each smack of his lips took me over the edge. At one point I was ready to throw the remote across the room.

Next up; Where The Wild Things Are. Now, I consider myself a fan of Spike Jonez. Not in any weird way, I like what he's done so far. This is one thing that he's done that I didn't like. Granted I have a cold, throw in a little brain damage, but I couldn't get into it for two other reasons. I never read the book, nor am I a ten year old child who needs to be taught the most basic of life lessons. I'm old enough and wise enough to know that I, nor anyone else, will ever learn those lessons, and if we did we would forget them in a matter of minutes, at least as soon as the latest episode of Jersey Shore comes out. Throw in he high pitched screams from a young boy claiming to be a king to oversized muppets, and well I was once again ready to toss the remote across the room.

And finally, Inglourious Basterds, my favorite out of the trio. I dug the premise and I wondered why no one had thought of it before; let's see make a movie where the one most reviled group in history is picked apart and held accountable for their actions. Throughout the movie, I was sweating, I was enthralled. Whether it was the dialogue, the cinematography, I don't know, but I enjoyed it.

So there are my most recent reviews. Something I like to call, Reviews From The Lame Brain.


  1. can these ones really be blamed on the brain? i mean, they kind of sound like dorian reviews pre traumatic brain injury. just sayin.

  2. I guess you're right but there is one big difference, I've never wanted to throw the remote across the room because someone was smacking their food, I see that every night at dinner, you'd think I'd be used it, and out of remotes.

    I see blaming it on the brain is getting old for some!

  3. Haha. Fair enough. Though I sometimes want to throw my fork accross the room when I have to sit through dinner with *someone* smacking.

  4. It annoyed me when he rubbed the chocolate cake on his face. waste of perfectly good chocolate cake. My husband walked out of the theater after 20 minutes of Where the Wild Things Are. I'll stick to the book - which me and my 4 year old love. Looking forward to Inglorious Basterds.